Tag Archives: paddy & mick jokes

Paddy, Mick and the flag pole

Paddy & Mick are trying to estimate the height of a flag pole. A builder walks past & they explain their problem. He says, “That’s simple fellas, watch this.” He unbolts it, lies it flat & measures it. Paddy says to Mick, “Thick twat! We want to know the height not the fucking length!”

Paddy and Mick’s Day Off

Paddy & Mick are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Mick ‘Im gonna have the day off, I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!’

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts ‘I’M A LIGHTBULB! I’M A LIGHTBULB!’

Mick watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts ‘Paddy you’re mad, go home.’

So he leaves the site.

Mick starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

‘Where the hell are you going?’ asks the Foreman.

‘I cant work in the friggin dark! ‘ says Mick.

Paddy & Mick Twins

This was told to me by an Irishman I used to work with. He told the best Irish jokes ever !!

Paddy has a fall at work and breaks his hip. He gets bored very quickly and asks Mick if he’d like to come round one evening for a few beers.

After a while Paddy asks Mick to go upstairs and bring his slippers as his feet are cold. Mick goes up and see Paddy’s two gorgeous grown-up daughters getting ready for a night out.

“Yer Dad’s sent me up to feck the pair of ya” says Mick.

“Ah, yur a loying b*stard” says one.

“Oi’ll prove it, Oi will” says Mick. He calls down : “Paddy, did ya say bot’ of dem ?”

“Of course, ya daft get, what’s de point of feckin’ one ?”