Tag Archives: funny condom jokes

FIrst time with a condom joke

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.
I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.”

Randy young man buys condoms from a pharmacy

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “hello, could u give me a condom. im going to my girlfriend’s home for dinner and i think i may be in with a chance!” the pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out; he returns and says, “give me another condom because my girlfriend sister is very cute too.she always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and i thinkl i might strike it lucky there too”. the pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says, “go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me, she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, i think she is expecting me to make a move!” During dinner,the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. when the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, “dear lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all u give us.” A minute later the boy is still praying “and thank you lord for your kindness”. Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. the others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, “i didn’t know u were so religious”. the boy replies, “i didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!”