I would slap you but shit splatters
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.