Tag: employment terms jokes

New Employment Terms and Conditions 2011

NEW EMPLOYMENT RULES

1. SICK LEAVE
We will no longer accept a doctor’s certificate as proof of sickness because if you could get to the doctor, then you might have as well came to work.

2. SURGERY AND OPERATIONS
We now prohibit all body changes,since we hired you as you are. Having anything removed constitutes a breach of your employment contract.

3. HOLIDAYS
Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year, they are called Saturdae and Sundae.

4. LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people will get an hour for lunch as they need 2 eat more so they can look healthy, normal size people get 30minutes to maintain average figure, fat people get 5 minutes because thats all they need to drink slimfast and take a diet pill

5. DRESSCODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see youwearing designer clothing, we will assume that you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise.

Sincerely management.

NB:Please charge the time you spend readng this on annual leave, since it is work time…


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