Tag Archives: drug jokes

Drug’s officer and his sniffer dog

Man sits next 2 a guy with a dog on a plane and asks is he a guide dog?

No i’m a drugs officer, he’s a sniffer dog, watch this and says to the dog ‘Search’ The dog goes off, comes back and puts 1 paw on his lap. ‘Heroin’ the guy says and makes a note of the passanger.

The dog comes back again and puts 2 paws on his lap. ‘Coke’ the guy says.

The dog comes back again and shits all over the seat.

Man says “What does that mean?”

Drugs officer says “Hes found a fucking BOMB!”

The wrong way to fake a drug test

After a weekend full of drugs and alcohol, I turned up for work monday morning and they where taking urine samples to test for drugs and alcohol, luckily for me I found out on friday and came prepared with a urine sample from my girlfriend! She’s a saint dosn’t touch stuff so I will pass the test no questions asked! I sneeked the urine sample in and gave it to the nurse!

My boss contacts me after receiving my test results:

Good news – you passed, totally clear of drugs and alcohol.
Bad news – your six weeks pregnant and your fired!