Tag: corn shit

The Shit List

Ghost Shit: The kind of shit where you feel the shit come out, but there is no shit in the toilet.

Clean Shit: The kind of shit where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but when you wipe your ass there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Shit: The kind of shit where you wipe your ass so many times, and it feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper up your asshole so you will not ruin your underwear with a nasty shit stain.

2nd Wave Shit: This happens when you are done shitting, pulled up your pants to your waist, and you have to shit some more.

Pop-a-Vein-in-Your-Head Shit: The kind of shit where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Shit: The kind of shit where it is so huge you are affraid to flush it without breaking it into small pieces with the toilet brush.

Gassy Shit: The kind of shit so noisy, everyone in hearing range is giggling.

The Dangling Shit: The kind of shit that refuses to drop even though you are done shitting. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

Drinker Shit: The kind of shit you have in the morning after a long night of drinking; the most noticible trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet bowl.

Corn Shit: (Self Explanatory)

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit Shit: The kind of shit where you want to shit so bad, but all you can do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Shit: That is where it hurts so badly you could swear it was leaving your body sideways.

Wet Cheeks Shit (Power Dump): The kind of shit that comes out so fast your ass gets splashed with water.

Mêxican Shit: The kind of shit that smells so bad your nose hairs burn off.

Upper Class Shit: The kind of shit that comes out perfectly, doesn’t touch the bottom of the toilet, doesn’t smell, and defies all laws of shitting.

Liquid Shit: The kind of shit where the yellow-brownish liquid shoots out of your asshole and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

The Never-ending Shit: The kind of shit that you feel it come out, look into the toilet bowl, see the beginning, but never see the end.

Five-Alarm-Fire Shit: This is when you take a Liquid Shit and it burns your asshole so badly that you want to take a 50 foot lawn hose, put it on full power and shove it all the way up your ass.

and last but not least the classic shart: That is when you are not even at the toilet because you are sure that you have to fart, but oops … a piece of shit.


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