Tag Archives: birthday jokes

Funny jokes – Wifes birthday

Funny jokes - Wifes birthday

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing the wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off I asked what shed like to have for her Birthday. “Id like to be ten again” she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, I woke up early and made her a big bowl of lucky charms and then took her to Alton Towers to go on all the rides. Afterwards I took her to McDonalds and got her a Happy Meal. Following that was a trip to the Cinema to watch a film and get popcorn and a coke. When she got home she collapsed on the couch exhausted. Chuffed with my good work, I leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like being ten again?” Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size you thick cunt!”

Funny jokes - Wifes birthday

Failed Birthday Present

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!” So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?” “She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours’.”