Near Fredericksburg, Texas where there is a large German-speaking population. A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.
The Farmer shouted, “Trim dax wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.” (Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows have shit in it.)
The man shouted back, “I’m from Illinois and just down here campaigning for Obama, so I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”
The farmer replied, “Use two hands, you’ll get more.”