Everybody here at Jokideo loves funny jokes and since 2010 we have been sharing many of them across our blog from blondes to fatty’s, a lot of jokes over the years get reused, changed and republished, below is some of the funniest jokes found across the internet in 2017 from Google images, Facebook, Pinterest etc.
We sometimes get contacted quite a bit over some of the stuff that we post on jokideo, so we would like to make you aware some of the funny jokes below may cause offence but just to be clear its purely for humor purposes and no offence is intended 🙂
Below is some of the funniest and best jokes found on the internet in 2017:
Chinese sick leave joke
Chinese Sick Leave… Ho Chow calls into work and say, “Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.” The boss says, “You know something Ho Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.” Two hours later Ho Chow calls again. “I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon…… You got nice house.”
Burgers and chips please joke
Some bloke walked up to the counter and said, “Burger and chips please.” “Certainly, sir” I replied. “Are you eating in or taking out?” “F*ck off you c*nt” he snapped, before walking off with his food. I love working in the prison canteen.
Her hair smells nice today joke
A man mentions to a coworker that her hair smells nice today. The woman suddenly grows enraged, storms into her supervisors office and declares loudly that shes quitting and has decided to file a sexual harassment suit. “Come on” says the supervisor, “Whats wrong with a guy saying your hair smells nice?” “Hes a fucking midget!”
80 year old wants a cowboy hat joke
Bert, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “notice anything different about me?” Margaret, who is 75 looked him over. “Nope” frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “notice anything different now?” Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, whats the different? Its hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, itll be hanging down again tomorrow.” Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY ITS HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?” “Nope. Not a clue” she replied. “ITS HANGING DOWN BECAUSE ITS LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!” Without missing a beat Margret replied, “Should of bought a hat Bert…. You should of bought a hat!”
Paddy ploughing his field joke
Paddy is ploughing his field with a steamroller. Seamus says “Paddy you dont plough a field with a steamroller you dozy bastard!” Paddy says “Im growing mashed potatoes you thick cunt!”
Funny 911 joke
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?” There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, “How bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”
Funny jokes from Google Images Below:
Thank you for visiting our funny jokes page, your find a lot of the images on Google here.
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