A surgeon was operating on a man when he slips and accidentally cuts off the mans balls. He quickly inserts two onions and sews his scrotum back up. One month later the man goes back for a check up.
“Any problems?” asks the surgeon.
“A few.” explains the man.
“I cry when I piss, my wife gets heartburn after a blow job and I get a fucking hard-on when I see a cheese sandwich!