A man had two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
“I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so out of generosity I pulled it out for her. But she turned around and punched me in the eye.”
Boss: “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”
“Well, I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”