Jokideo

O’shaughnessy received a phone call in work

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 15:31:38 +0000

Soon after O’Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O’Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.’ To be shure it was, Boss, ‘he replied, ‘I just found out from Ireland that my mother died earlier this morning.’

‘Gosh, that’s awful, ‘replied the foreman, ‘Do you want the rest of the day off?’
‘No, ‘replied O’Shaughnessy. ‘ I’ll finish the day out.’

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him in the office. This time when O’Shaughnessy returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything was alright.

‘Bejeezuz Boss, its even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died today too!’

A person can only kiss so much ass

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 15:00:57 +0000

let me sleep with you for 100 pound

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 14:43:50 +0000

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with the hot girl at work, but she had a boyfriend. One day Eddie got so desperate that he went to her & said, “I’ll give U a £100 if U’ll let me have sex with U.” The girl looked at him shocked & said “Hell no!” He said “I’ll be real quick-I’ll throw the money on the floor, U bend over to get it, & I’ll be finished by the time U’ve picked it up!” She thought for a moment & told him that she would have to talk to her boyfriend. So she called him & explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, “Ask him for £200. Pick up the money really really fast, & he won’t even be able to get his pants down!” She agreed & accepts the proposal. 30 minutes go by & the boyfriend is still waitin for his girlfriend’s call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls & asks, “What the fuck happened?” Still breathin hard she managed to reply, “That bastard had all pennies!!!”

Why do people sing and dance

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 14:00:05 +0000

The Joke Family

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 13:00:13 +0000

Vaginal lips reduction operation

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 12:12:05 +0000

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and flapping. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. “I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!” The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: “I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.” “The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago.” “And what about the third rose?” she asked. “Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He just wanted to thank you for his new ears.”

Reality Show

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 12:00:54 +0000

Today is a great day for not caring

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 11:00:45 +0000

You couldn’t handle me

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 10:00:02 +0000

Our son is missing have you seen him anywhere

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 09:00:06 +0000

Blonde eating her lunch

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 08:49:21 +0000

A brunette, a redhead, and blonde are all sitting on the top of their school building eating their lunches. The brunette looks at her lunch and says, “If i get a ham sandwich one more day for lunch, i’m gonna jump off this building!” The redhead looks at her lunch and says, “If i get a turkey sandwich one more day for lunch, i’m gonna jump off this building!” The blonde looks at her lunch and says, “If i get a pb&j sandwich one more day for lunch, i’m gonna jump off this building!” The next day, the brunette sees a ham sandwich is put for her and jumps off. The redhead sees a turkey sandwich is put for her and jumps off. The blonde sees a pb&j sandwich is put for her and jumps off. At the funeral, the brunette’s mom cries, “If only I knew that she didn’t want a ham sandwich!” The redhead’s mom cries, “If only I knew that she didn’t want a turkey sandwich!” But the blonde’s mom is laughing. The other two moms ask her why she is laughing and she says, “My daughter packs her own lunch.”

Facebook Relationship Statues

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 08:00:20 +0000

Me and my bed you and your jeans

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 07:00:18 +0000

Baby are you jealous

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 06:00:30 +0000

Men look at boobs for the same reason

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 05:00:33 +0000

If the people in the horror movies listened

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 04:00:45 +0000

Boobs are like the sun

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 03:00:35 +0000

Never go at the first call

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 02:00:47 +0000

Dear Periods

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 01:00:01 +0000

What I do on Grand Theft Auto

maccam87 — Sat, 19 May 2012 00:00:02 +0000