Joke One: My Wife had one of those near death experiences last night, stupid bitch thought she could hoover while the football was on!
Joke Two: To all those women who watch the football and shout “Pass it to Frank” or “Bring on Joe Cole” fuck off, you didn’t see me at Sex and the City 2 shouting “Fuck her up the arse”
Joke Three: Wayne Rooney said that he had Andy Carroll’s product in his hair. Yes, Wayne you and half the women in Newcastle.
Joke Four: No wonder Greece is in so much financial trouble, If they always save like that
Joke Five: Summary of England’s best chance of winning Euro 2012: Beat the Fascists in the quarters, then beat the Nazis in the semis. And hope that the French get to the final, wave their white flags, and surrender!