Two Men at an Airport..”I Can’t Find My wife”.”I Can’t Find Mine Either, What Does Yours Look Like?”"She’s 6ft Tall, Blonde, Big Tits, Long Legs, Mini Skirt, Stockings, High Heels & A Boob Tube, What’s Yours Look Like?”"Fuck Her, We’ll Look For Yours!

7 Englishmen and 1 Irishman in a rape line up. The victim walks in, Paddy steps forward and shouts “Thats her, the ungrateful fat fucker!”

A gypo girl is about to get married. Her mum says, “Emerald, you do realise that when you’re married your husband will want to stick his most prized possession in to where you piss?” The daughter replies, “Shut up Ma, how the fuck’s he gonna fit his Transit van in the sink?”

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

Your mum is so cross eyed, she threw a rock at the ground and missed!

Your mum is sooo ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out with an application form.

Whats the difference between your mum and the titanic?

The titanic sunk, your mum floats.

Doctor, “What seems to be the problem?”

Patient, “Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,”

The Doctor nods, “Hmm.”

Patient, “My farts do not stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I fart all the time. Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes and I’ve farted five times. You didn’t hear them and you don’t smell them, do you?”
“Hmm,” says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled “Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?”

“No,” sighs the Doctor, “The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.”